vagina is talking i cant
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
