dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
