Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
its not stalking. its research.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
