Sry I called you an 8
we made out on top of his cat.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize