Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
