do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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