Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
