I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize