Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
