He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
