I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
