and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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