I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
