Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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