im about as happy as oj after his trial
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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