So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
