I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
