I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he shaved USA in his pubs
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
