5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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