Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
