bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Damn victory sex feels great
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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