how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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