She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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