woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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