And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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