Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
