I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
