It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
