i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
