Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
