So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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