YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
