I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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