Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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