You really coming over, don't trick.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I could fuck to npr.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
