I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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