I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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