i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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