Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
