yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm too high and old for this...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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