ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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