you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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