She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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