Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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