Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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