god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
