I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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