So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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