There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
