her vagine was all disorganized.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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