question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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