Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
