Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
