he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
