I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
