The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
