We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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