If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
