Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
