when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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