I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
