In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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