we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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