I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
