Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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