Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
