she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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