Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
