dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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