i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
