My room smells like vodka and shame
youre lurking in front of me
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
